#152228 - 11/22/07 05:58 PM
A near north joke
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Silversmith
Loquacious Planeteer
Registered: 03/27/02
Posts: 40001
Loc: Commanda, Canada
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A big city lawyer went duck hunting in Commanda. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing. The litigator responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it."
The old farmer replied, "This is my property, and you are not coming over here."
The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial lawyers in Toronto and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own."
The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we settle disputes in the near north. We settle small disagreements like this with the 'Three Kick Rule.'
The lawyer asked, "What is the 'Three Kick Rule'?"
The farmer replied, "Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, I get to go first. I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so on back and forth until someone gives up."
The lawyer quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom.
The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the attorney. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel toed work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees. His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal gushing from his
mouth. The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer's third kick to his rear end, sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie.
Summoning every bit of his will and remaining strength the lawyer very slowly managed to get to his feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his
jacket, he said, "Okay, you old fart. Now it's my turn."
The old farmer smiled and said, "Nah, I give up. You can have the duck."
_________________________
The truth is but a moment's glance beyond the infinite Andy on Soundcloud
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#152229 - 11/22/07 06:04 PM
Re: A near north joke
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Doughboy
Loquacious Planeteer
Registered: 07/15/01
Posts: 27061
Loc: Gaylord, MI
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:thumb: :thumb: :thumb: :thumb: tooo freakin' funny...can't wait to tell that one to a couple lawyers I deliver too!!!!
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#152230 - 11/22/07 06:10 PM
Re: A near north joke
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Marty Gilman
Official Planet Sax Monster - Planeteer/Artist # 117
Loquacious Planeteer
Registered: 04/05/00
Posts: 27942
Loc: Palm Beach, Florida- U S A
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Good one!
-mg
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Can you play that an octave louder?
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#152231 - 11/22/07 06:14 PM
Re: A near north joke
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LakeStone Karl
Planeteer
Registered: 06/26/02
Posts: 15821
Loc: Eastern PA, USA
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Kinda like the Rochambeau on South Park.
They're almost Canadian. Terrance and Phillip are definately Canadian.
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#152232 - 11/22/07 06:15 PM
Re: A near north joke
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glensimonds
Planeteer
Registered: 12/14/02
Posts: 19722
Loc: Brooklyn Park, MN
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#152233 - 11/23/07 10:44 PM
Re: A near north joke
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Doofie
Doofie
Planeteer
Registered: 04/04/02
Posts: 15106
Loc: Hamilton, Ontario, Canada
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Lovely, Smithy. A good story, well told.
_________________________
"On religion, the common man finds it to be true,
the wise man finds it foolish,
and the wealthy man finds it useful."
-Seneca The Younger ~76AD
I'm David McMillan. My friends call me Chuck.
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