#152228 - 11/22/07 11:58 AM
A near north joke
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Silversmith
Planeteer
Registered: 03/27/02
Posts: 34620
Loc: Commanda, Canada
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A big city lawyer went duck hunting in Commanda. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing. The litigator responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it."
The old farmer replied, "This is my property, and you are not coming over here."
The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial lawyers in Toronto and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own."
The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we settle disputes in the near north. We settle small disagreements like this with the 'Three Kick Rule.'
The lawyer asked, "What is the 'Three Kick Rule'?"
The farmer replied, "Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, I get to go first. I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so on back and forth until someone gives up."
The lawyer quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom.
The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the attorney. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel toed work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees. His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal gushing from his
mouth. The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer's third kick to his rear end, sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie.
Summoning every bit of his will and remaining strength the lawyer very slowly managed to get to his feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his
jacket, he said, "Okay, you old fart. Now it's my turn."
The old farmer smiled and said, "Nah, I give up. You can have the duck."
_________________________
"When in doubt, play a G chord. You have a one-in-three chance of being right"Old Bluegrass Guy (Thanks JimmyT) Ken and Andy
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#152229 - 11/22/07 12:04 PM
Re: A near north joke
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Doughboy
Planeteer
Registered: 07/15/01
Posts: 16936
Loc: Gaylord, MI
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:thumb: :thumb: :thumb: :thumb: tooo freakin' funny...can't wait to tell that one to a couple lawyers I deliver too!!!!
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#152230 - 11/22/07 12:10 PM
Re: A near north joke
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Marty Gilman
Official Planet Sax Monster - Planeteer/Artist # 117
Planeteer
Registered: 04/05/00
Posts: 17901
Loc: Massachusetts- U S A
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Good one!
-mg
_________________________
Can you play that an octave louder? 
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#152231 - 11/22/07 12:14 PM
Re: A near north joke
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LakeStone Karl
Artist # 60
Planeteer
Registered: 06/26/02
Posts: 15094
Loc: Eastern PA, USA
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Kinda like the Rochambeau on South Park.
They're almost Canadian. Terrance and Phillip are definately Canadian.
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#152233 - 11/23/07 04:44 PM
Re: A near north joke
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Doofie
Planeteer
Registered: 04/04/02
Posts: 4803
Loc: Hamilton, Ontario, Canada
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Lovely, Smithy. A good story, well told.
_________________________
Love, it's something we do.
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