#1344071 - 11/13/14 05:36 PM
Workplace food theft revisited.
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GoldenEars
Planeteer
Registered: 05/15/14
Posts: 1500
Loc: Awe-Sten, TX
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A couple of years ago I told a story here about some of the problems my wife was facing at her work with workplace theft.
It was around Christmas, and I laced a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with hot sauce for her to take to work.
The thief was a man in his early twenties who ran to the bathroom yelling "Shit!" as he tossed the remains of his stolen goodies in the trash.
I spent a lot of time researching different possibilities before settling on the hot sauce idea.
My take on this is pretty simple: If you didn't bring it to work with you there is no reason you are entitled to it. None. You can wait and suffer in silence if you didn't think ahead to prepare your own meals and bring them. Spend some of your own hard-earned money on a meal if you must eat.
This is Texas. If you don't like spicy food, watch what you order or steal.
She's in a new building now and it's pretty clear that there are rampant thieves in this new building. So I'll be shopping for a new hot sauce today. Ghost Chili sounds pretty good...much better than Habanero.
Many of these people make six figures. Many of these people are extremely cool. At least one of them is a petty criminal. There's no excuse for it.
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#1344087 - 11/13/14 06:05 PM
Re: Workplace food theft revisited.
[Re: GoldenEars]
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Milkman
Planeteer
Registered: 12/28/00
Posts: 17063
Loc: KCMO
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Godspeed to the burning asshole!
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#1344090 - 11/13/14 06:07 PM
Re: Workplace food theft revisited.
[Re: Milkman]
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GoldenEars
Planeteer
Registered: 05/15/14
Posts: 1500
Loc: Awe-Sten, TX
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Amen my brutha! 
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#1344091 - 11/13/14 06:07 PM
Re: Workplace food theft revisited.
[Re: Milkman]
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Chimp
Planeteer
Registered: 01/25/03
Posts: 13625
Loc: Overland Park
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it's silly ..I wouldn't touch something that I did not know where it came from - burn them up.
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#1344092 - 11/13/14 06:15 PM
Re: Workplace food theft revisited.
[Re: Chimp]
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GoldenEars
Planeteer
Registered: 05/15/14
Posts: 1500
Loc: Awe-Sten, TX
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Chimp, I think it was about two years ago and you'd be surprised how much flak I got for entertaining the possibility.
It's her food.
The thieves are mostly male. The same guys who'd cut the line at junior high school and then raise their fist like a bad ass threatening anyone to speak.
They're in their twenties now and trying to save seven bucks for movie tickets AND fight the Man!
Capsacian it is!
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#1344100 - 11/13/14 06:44 PM
Re: Workplace food theft revisited.
[Re: GoldenEars]
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Infinitymobile
Planeteer
Registered: 05/24/11
Posts: 12863
Loc: Kansas City
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[quoteGE] Ghost Chili sounds pretty good...much better than Habanero.
[/quote]lol...that would be awesome! It would be even better if you get it on video....to share with us
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#1344103 - 11/13/14 06:53 PM
Re: Workplace food theft revisited.
[Re: ulank]
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GoldenEars
Planeteer
Registered: 05/15/14
Posts: 1500
Loc: Awe-Sten, TX
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Nah. A bit too extreme, ulank.
You have to factor in the possibility of an honest mistake happening.
And it would also be a bit too extreme to use feces or urine.
The point here is not to do permanent harm, just as petty theft doesn't do permanent harm. Hot sauce does no harm. It's just funny!
But, it did make my Christmas to hear the story of "Shit! Shit! Shit!"
The guy's making a great salary at a great company and he can't think of an alternative to stealing another person's food.
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#1344105 - 11/13/14 06:56 PM
Re: Workplace food theft revisited.
[Re: GoldenEars]
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GoldenEars
Planeteer
Registered: 05/15/14
Posts: 1500
Loc: Awe-Sten, TX
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I wish I could, Infinity.
You'll have to settle for a very good story.
They've taken to stealing jello containers and sealed packages and shared coffee creamer.
Put a needle in the package and drop some capsacian right in.
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#1344171 - 11/13/14 08:00 PM
Re: Workplace food theft revisited.
[Re: GoldenEars]
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Chimp
Planeteer
Registered: 01/25/03
Posts: 13625
Loc: Overland Park
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Do it better yet tear up a couple of cigarettes and stuff the tobacco right at the edges so they get a big mouth full right away
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#1344275 - 11/14/14 02:49 AM
Re: Workplace food theft revisited.
[Re: Chimp]
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Liquidirt
Planet Dirtball
Planeteer
Registered: 11/08/04
Posts: 18693
Loc: Albuquerque, NM
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Sad but I actually used X-Lax in one of my lunches. That ass nozzle was on the toilet for hours. Never stole another lunch. I hate thieves.
_________________________
My wife just left me. Probably because I'm so insecure... Wait, she's back. She just went for a coffee, my bad...
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#1344337 - 11/14/14 10:25 AM
Re: Workplace food theft revisited.
[Re: Liquidirt]
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SkyWave
Planeteer
Registered: 10/15/12
Posts: 14755
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This thread was funny! Clever methodologies.
Still, hard to imagine people with money stealing other people's lunches. A Texas thing? What? I have not had that happen in a work place -- the opposite I have known to happen, people left food until it started a malodorous decomposition process.
Now it'd be easy enough to put up a camera and capture the thief. Or put a sign in the fridge, SMILE THIEF, YOU ARE ON SURVEILLANCE CAMERA.
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#1344346 - 11/14/14 01:23 PM
Re: Workplace food theft revisited.
[Re: SkyWave]
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The Vampire Lestat
Planeteer
Registered: 01/09/00
Posts: 4529
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I can't imagine this ever happening where I work. The hot sauce idea is pretty funny though.
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#1344350 - 11/14/14 01:57 PM
Re: Workplace food theft revisited.
[Re: MadGuitrst]
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jimmyrock
Department Head of Redundancy Department Head
Planeteer
Registered: 12/18/05
Posts: 9684
Loc: America's File Cabinet
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totally wacked that people do this, and I have had this as an issue in 2 or 3 of the places I work, high end professionals jeez.
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#1344379 - 11/14/14 03:39 PM
Re: Workplace food theft revisited.
[Re: GoldenEars]
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kendall
Planeteer
Registered: 02/10/02
Posts: 7350
Loc: amsterdam, netherlands
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Lots of years ago, the thief's target sandwich got generously laced with LSD.
Much fun for all, as we all joined in, and a good lesson for our thief who could now see what we were seeing.
_________________________
Humans are just smart enough to fool themselves.
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#1344390 - 11/14/14 04:11 PM
Re: Workplace food theft revisited.
[Re: kendall]
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ickalien
Planeteer
Registered: 10/01/04
Posts: 5535
Loc: Denver
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There was a big red neck bully who would walk up to a friend of mine and take the beer right out of his hand. We were playing pool and the bully came in. My friend bought a beer and dropped an 8 way blotter of LSD in and waited. Sure enough the bully came up and grabbed the beer and chugged it, smiled and went to play pool. In about 25 - 30 min. he started to look around like something was wrong. We waited awhile and soon the asshole was sitting on the floor crying, wondering what had happened to his world. We did all the things you are supposed to do to first time trippers. What fun!
He has never come around us again. Never.
_________________________
No Mas Pantalonies
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#1344399 - 11/14/14 04:25 PM
Re: Workplace food theft revisited.
[Re: ickalien]
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GoldenEars
Planeteer
Registered: 05/15/14
Posts: 1500
Loc: Awe-Sten, TX
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I'm enjoying the input and appreciating the stories...but I'm actually surprised that it's been mostly positive.
And I like that.
Personally, I've only been the victim of theft twice in my life. That I know of, anyway.
In many cases, there isn't much you can do but go on. I'm pretty sure this stuff will go on and on regardless, but it does feel nice to have some minor justice every now and then.
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#1344448 - 11/14/14 06:21 PM
Re: Workplace food theft revisited.
[Re: GoldenEars]
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Mooseboy
That's "MR. Asshole" to you, buddy!
Loquacious Planeteer
Registered: 04/24/99
Posts: 37212
Loc: Black Mountain Hills of Dakota
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What a perfect place for this:
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#1344452 - 11/14/14 06:24 PM
Re: Workplace food theft revisited.
[Re: Mooseboy]
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GoldenEars
Planeteer
Registered: 05/15/14
Posts: 1500
Loc: Awe-Sten, TX
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Lol!
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#1344526 - 11/14/14 08:48 PM
Re: Workplace food theft revisited.
[Re: GoldenEars]
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kendall
Planeteer
Registered: 02/10/02
Posts: 7350
Loc: amsterdam, netherlands
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Heard this story on the radio...
A guy's elderly mother called and said her beloved dog had just died. The son went to her apt. in NYC, promised his mom he would dispose of it properly, picked up the dog's body and put it in a suitcase to take it to an animal shelter for disposal. While waiting at a bus stop, a big black man came from behind, grabbed the suitcase, and ran like hell. Guess he thought he'd got a full tourist's suitcase. So the situation was solved but he had a laugh when thinking how the thief would appear to his cronies when he came back to the hood and they would all be sitting around to see all the treasures which had been taken.
_________________________
Humans are just smart enough to fool themselves.
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#1344531 - 11/14/14 08:53 PM
Re: Workplace food theft revisited.
[Re: kendall]
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GoldenEars
Planeteer
Registered: 05/15/14
Posts: 1500
Loc: Awe-Sten, TX
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Infinity, I have to confess that I'm not a hot sauce fan. So something like tabasco sauce is too much for me. But...because you're asking I think it's only proper to do an adult dose. Like what I intend to give to the thief. So I'll do that and get back to you.
I probably won't be very happy.
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#1344979 - 11/15/14 06:01 PM
Re: Workplace food theft revisited.
[Re: Mooseboy]
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Chimp
Planeteer
Registered: 01/25/03
Posts: 13625
Loc: Overland Park
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#1345045 - 11/15/14 09:24 PM
Re: Workplace food theft revisited.
[Re: Chimp]
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GoldenEars
Planeteer
Registered: 05/15/14
Posts: 1500
Loc: Awe-Sten, TX
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Ha! I've been chickening out but I'll go do it right now, Chimp.
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#1345049 - 11/15/14 09:36 PM
Re: Workplace food theft revisited.
[Re: GoldenEars]
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GoldenEars
Planeteer
Registered: 05/15/14
Posts: 1500
Loc: Awe-Sten, TX
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Holy Shit! That stuff is hot! I filled the cap from a water bottle with the stuff (probably like 1/4 teaspoon) and slurped it down.
My throat is totally seared. The taste of the stuff is pretty nice, actually. I think they put a lot of sugar in it, so the flavor isn't rancid or anything.
I'll be making a sandwich with it this Sunday evening and be sure to put some toothpicks with olives stuffed on them in it. Who could resist a beautiful sandwich that screams "I was made with love" to steal?
Whew! I'm still burning here. Yep, it'll do.
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