I'm always alarmed and amused when I see the the list of possible side effects in the advertisements for medicine on TV or in the magazines in the doctor's office. Everything from an itchy nose to a lingering painful death it seems.
So of course I wrote a song about it.
Side effects side effects
I had a bad headache could have been the weather Wouldn't go away thought it would last forever So I took a pill then I read the label There's some nasty side effects that could leave your junk disabled
Or you might get dizzy and experience flatulence And then pass out as a consequence
Do you know what's in the drops you got for your cough? You might grow an extra nipple or an ear could fall off And by the time it tastes awful it may be too late Those fine print side effects will determine your fate
You might suffer from a bout of amnesia Or get fungus on your toes from dental anaesthesia
You better call the doctor if you break out in hives Or an eyebrow shrinks and you wish you had nine lives There's related symptoms and they may include Insomnia a rash on your ass and a bad attitude
On the left side of your head you may lose some hair And on the right and probably elsewhere
You better watch out if a kidney starts shaking And your feet get hot or your cheeks are aching Ya gotta keep in mind that after it's ingested You might go blind and be a little congested
The odd neurotic fit has been reported And the occasional legal judgment has been awarded
Side effects side effects You never know what's next
None are so blind as those that do not hear the music.