Registered: 05/18/02
Posts: 55391
Loc: San Miguel de Allende, Mexico ...
I’m enjoying the prelude, the little messages back-and-forth, the butt dial, and so on. I still don’t really know if I’m ready for anything but it feels like my heart is thawing a little which is nice.
Registered: 05/18/02
Posts: 55391
Loc: San Miguel de Allende, Mexico ...
Those who advised me to go we’re absolutely right. I’m actually in the ER right now, I had a nosebleed it would not stop probably due to the blood thinner I’m taking. No signs of internal bleeding or anything like that but my house looks like a slasher movie. Anyway I obviously had to cancel our plans to go see a movie this afternoon she couldn’t be sweeter and more uplifting. She obviously has a good sense of humor, which means that she laughs at my jokes. That’s all I really care about :-)
#1644629 - 02/17/2010:59 PMRe: Going to a Singles Cocktail Party Saturday Night
[Re: Jazzooo]
Dan BarnesDan Barnes
I sing, I love, I love to sing.
Planeteer
Registered: 04/16/99
Posts: 16014
Loc: Joshua Tree, CA USA
Oh, man. I hope you don't have ITP. I do. It's under control now, but it was hell getting here. Hoping for the best. I hope your platelet count comes up after you are off of them for a while.
#1644630 - 02/17/2010:59 PMRe: Going to a Singles Cocktail Party Saturday Night
[Re: Dan Barnes]
Dan BarnesDan Barnes
I sing, I love, I love to sing.
Planeteer
Registered: 04/16/99
Posts: 16014
Loc: Joshua Tree, CA USA
There are many single and at least seemingly available women around here in the high-desert from 50-70 (I'm 68.) Some of their friends, it seems, are actively trying to set them up. I usually resist. My saying is that I am alone, but not lonely, and that's maybe 75% true. If I ever get into a relationship, certainly a live-in type relationship again, it'll have to happen so organically that I don't even notice at first. Heh...
In the 3.75 years I've been here, I have only asked two women on dates. The first turned out to be the sister of Harriet of Pappy and Harriet's, if you've heard of that place. I just happened to sit next to her at the bar and we hit it off. She invited me over to her house after, but the chemistry just wasn't there, not for me, anyway, but we are fairly close friends now.
The other turned me down. My expectations were not very high that she would accept, she's at least 20 years younger, and I gave her a few "easy outs" and she took a while to decide, but that's okay. In fact, saw her Saturday night at a local concert and indeed, we were right back where we were before I'd asked her out.
Now, on the other hand, I know of 3 or 4 women who lets say... are attracted to me but I have no romantic interest in and I just kind of play dumb.
Another makes no bones about it, has told me that she is "in love" with me! I sing with her as a duet a lot and consider ours a business relationship and use that to hold her off. I don't know if that will work for long, but I just don't feel for her that way.
But other than Rosie Palm and her 5 sisters, I'm quite content to be alone.
Registered: 05/18/02
Posts: 55391
Loc: San Miguel de Allende, Mexico ...
Dan, what is so bizarre is that on Friday, I decided I was fine to be alone for at least another 6 months. I picked her up after the hospital, looking like an extra from Texas Chain Saw Massacre, and we went out to dinner, then she came to meet my dogs and heard me sing What Happened, and cried a little. I'm smitten.
Registered: 05/18/02
Posts: 55391
Loc: San Miguel de Allende, Mexico ...
The nosebleed was just a small cut from picking my nose, but the blood thinner turned it into a gusher. I have no other troubling symptoms. She cauterized the wound. Excellent ER staff, went and got me a sandwich while I was waiting for the doc. Bilingual, smart. Er for5 hours, treatment, blood tests...$200 usd. No waiting.
#1644684 - 02/18/2006:40 AMRe: Going to a Singles Cocktail Party Saturday Night
[Re: Jazzooo]
Dan BarnesDan Barnes
I sing, I love, I love to sing.
Planeteer
Registered: 04/16/99
Posts: 16014
Loc: Joshua Tree, CA USA
Originally Posted By: Jazzooo
Dan, what is so bizarre is that on Friday, I decided I was fine to be alone for at least another 6 months. I picked her up after the hospital, looking like an extra from Texas Chain Saw Massacre, and we went out to dinner, then she came to meet my dogs and heard me sing What Happened, and cried a little. I'm smitten.
I'll bet when the part of your brain that said you're oky for 6 months alone, the rest of your brain said, "Yeah, right." You seem to be one of those guys that needs to be in a relationship and that's awesome. I kind of wish I were.
Registered: 07/11/01
Posts: 29762
Loc: Westborough, MA, USA
It's so funny, I was just thinking this about you, Doug: I was going to ask how you were doing with being by yourself, because you seem like a very, very social creature. This sounds like a nice beginning, actually, a good story. I hope things proceed in a gentle and fun way.
_________________________ The internet, and the whole technology sector on which it floats, feels like a giant organ for bullshittery—for upscaling human access to speech and for amplifying lies. - Ian Bogost
Professor Truth T. Sweetness says,"Mind your manners!"
Registered: 05/18/02
Posts: 55391
Loc: San Miguel de Allende, Mexico ...
Thanks. It's weird, I've been staying social for a couple of months, even though I've come home alone. Even when our relationship was intact, we still had evenings where we had plans that didn't include the other--me hanging with musicians, her at a book club or whatever. It was the coming together afterward to exchange stories that I've missed.
I had a very interesting experience--I don't think I've talked about this, but our ex-almost son in law (the guy who was engaged to Denise's daughter and started a wonderful new restaurant with her before she broke up with him) has become a close friend. He is 28 and Spanish. He and Denise's daughter lived with us for 2.5 years. Anyway, we were hanging out--he calls and invites me to dinner now and then--and I was telling him that i approached Denise two months ago and suggested that maybe we try a reunion. We went around and around a couple of times but the answer was no.
When I told Eduardo this, he said "Don't go back with her, you weren't as good together as you thought." I asked what he meant and he said that he didn't like the way she had been treating me the last year or so that we were together.
Now, I sat there kind of dumbfounded--most people who saw us together were in disbelief when I told them we were separating, because we seemed so happy. And for the most part I still think it was true. But there is no denying that the last year of our union was frustrating for me, not feeling appreciated and not being able to connect with the kind of frequency and intensity I craved.
It was at that moment that realized this was for the best. I let go of the dream of us working it out. The next few weeks were dedicated to music and a little dating. And now...I have this promising new friendship.
We are going slow, but it's an effort. My face hurts from smiling. What a change from 2019.
Registered: 05/18/02
Posts: 55391
Loc: San Miguel de Allende, Mexico ...
Hahaha!
Lemme tell you--this just gets better and better. we had a blast today, saw a movie, went for a drive, listened to tracks from my new album, ate excellent food. I KNOW THAT THERE IS MORE THAN THIS, and that she or I might be disappointed at some point. We are prepared and talking about how to handle it when it happens. But for now, it's crazy how aligned we are, from our favorite foods to movies to attitudes about relationships and sex.
Registered: 04/05/00
Posts: 26529
Loc: Palm Beach, Florida- U S A
OK, whose idea was the 10 dates until you have sex?
How do you put a number on that and how do you pick the number? LOL
I have dated several women with whom I have been sexually incompatible for various reasons. It would’ve been better if I had known that earlier, rather than later.
Enjoy yourselves
-m
_________________________
Can you play that an octave louder?
Registered: 05/18/02
Posts: 55391
Loc: San Miguel de Allende, Mexico ...
Tony soprano said that I think.
I’ve rushed into every relationship that I can remember. It was only a problem one time. But she’s been alone for quite a while and her last relationship went bad really fast, so her therapist suggested it. It’s Frustrating, of course, but also sexy. I’m picking her up in an hour and a half for number five :-)
Registered: 05/18/02
Posts: 55391
Loc: San Miguel de Allende, Mexico ...
Getting my shit together--interesting how depression takes my natural tendency to procrastinate and turns it into a felony. I've gotten more done in the last week than I probably did in the three weeks before.
Things are going well with 'my new girl,' who is in Mexico City picking up her daughter for a visit. I will have to stay a little in the background next week while she's here, as mom doesn't want her to feel she's moving too fast. So I'll take them to a gallery, than let them explore the city together and before she leaves, bring them both to a Thursday night gig.
Registered: 05/18/02
Posts: 55391
Loc: San Miguel de Allende, Mexico ...
What a fun process it is to get some to know someone who is really simpatico. I’m surprised the poets and songwriters haven’t written more about it over the ages ;-).
She came home tonight from Mexico City with her beautiful and vivacious 23-year-old daughter. I picked them up and we went to a good Spanish restaurant where there was a kick ass gypsy jazz band. Packed. The daughter was already predisposed to like me a lot, having spent 3 1/2 days in Mexico City walking around with her mom. They look like sisters! So cute.
At one point, without saying anything I got up with my Melodica and joined the band and ripped off a great solo that brought down the house. I have to be honest, I’m so used to Denise saying “that was great honey.“ That I wasn’t prepared for their reaction – they were so excited that it got me excited. The conversation was hysterical and free wheeling. Also without telling them, I asked Drummer if I could sit in on one song in the second set and just got up and played “straight no chaser“ and the girls were there videotaping it.
I feel really good. Most of it is this new relationship, but some of it is time, you know? I’m just not as sad as I was and in fact I have to kind a reach around inside to find the sadness and disappointment right now.
Registered: 05/18/02
Posts: 55391
Loc: San Miguel de Allende, Mexico ...
Thanks, I hope so. I mean, I’ve really enjoyed life for the most part up until the last year or so. I’m hoping that my blues were just reactive as apprised to systemic.
Aside from your personal life - I wonder what it's like down there - in light of US politics and current events.
I wonder - because it's dark as fuck up here where I live in north Texas. People are angry and divided.
I continue to fantasize about leaving. The country. I don't pretend that a Trump defeat will make everything better - maybe even worse. But if he wins again - I'm not sure I can stand it.
_________________________
"Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I'll meet you there."
Da Bears 
