Registered: 05/18/02
Posts: 55391
Loc: San Miguel de Allende, Mexico ...
Do you think there is a connection? Like, it's a bundle akin to leather seats and a moonroof, you can't get one without the other?
I'm kind of kidding but looking back, I think the most exciting sex I've ever had has been with women who were attracted to drama outside of the bedroom. I suspect I'm not the only man (or woman) who feels this way, as my brother wrote a fun song years ago called "The Little Crazy Ones," back when he was single.
Registered: 04/05/00
Posts: 26529
Loc: Palm Beach, Florida- U S A
I don’t equate good sex with craziness. I think your post would have been more accurate by calling it “the best sex I ever had was with a crazy woman.” Your study is less than scientific, too small a sample, to make this conclusion.
Some of the qualities I have correlated with:
Interest in pleasing partner, not selfish Self confidence lack of inhibitions and “hangups” Pleased with own body image Imaginitive Takes some chances Trusting “Naughty” helps
Just thinking that bipolar people experience deeper lows and higher highs.
Just some thoughts
-m
_________________________
Can you play that an octave louder?
Registered: 07/11/01
Posts: 29762
Loc: Westborough, MA, USA
My favorite partners - or most exciting and interesting, anyhow - were all a little crazy.
_________________________ The internet, and the whole technology sector on which it floats, feels like a giant organ for bullshittery—for upscaling human access to speech and for amplifying lies. - Ian Bogost
Professor Truth T. Sweetness says,"Mind your manners!"
Registered: 05/24/11
Posts: 12863
Loc: Kansas City
I have not had sex with anyone but my wife since I was 19 (currently 49).....so I don't have much to add since I can't really compare the 30 years with her with any previous relationship....but I will say...our sex life has always been really good.....and she has to be at least a little crazy to have put up with me for so long!
Registered: 05/18/02
Posts: 55391
Loc: San Miguel de Allende, Mexico ...
For me the “best” sex of my life has been in long-term loving relationships where trust and understanding were givens. But there is a qualitative difference in these scenarios I’m describing, kind of the difference between a beautiful ride in the country and a roller coaster.
Registered: 07/11/01
Posts: 29762
Loc: Westborough, MA, USA
Totally get that.
On the other hand, I've always wondered if the roller coaster-y ones had more trust and understanding in a way. With one person, it seemed like there weren't any limits - and that indicates something kind-of über-trusting.
However, she had a lot of issues. Didn't end well.
_________________________ The internet, and the whole technology sector on which it floats, feels like a giant organ for bullshittery—for upscaling human access to speech and for amplifying lies. - Ian Bogost
Professor Truth T. Sweetness says,"Mind your manners!"
The gals you guys call crazy were sexually molested and raped as children. It does a number on the child's mind. What you may interpret as trust and understanding is mere acquiescence --- the girls learned early and young that resistance was futile.
Your jails and prisons are full of girls who were raped as children, many of whom went on to addictions to numb their mind and memories. Indeed, I have never met a female meth addict who was not abused as a child.
People who have normal happy childhoods and loving families do not tend to grow up to be dissociative addicts.
Registered: 05/18/02
Posts: 55391
Loc: San Miguel de Allende, Mexico ...
It’s pretty creepy that every time we have a thread about good sex, you come in here and dump on us about rape and sexual abuse, sky. I mean, you certainly have the right to do it but I’d ask yourself why you can’t just let people have fun with the subject here.
I’ve met a few women since my divorce from Glenda 10 years ago and because I know the statistics, I always assume that they have had some very bad personal experiences with molestation, with rape or sexual harassment. And that’s been the case for most of them. But some sexual relationships have been quite different from the others.
Registered: 09/27/00
Posts: 19118
Loc: Sacramento, CA, USA
It’s pretty common to hear guys complain “Why do I always attract the crazy ones?” Probably should be more like “Why am I always attracted to the crazy ones?”
But then, defining “crazy” is a slippery slope.
_________________________ "Bobby, I'm sorry you got a head like a potato. I really am."
It’s pretty creepy that every time we have a thread about good sex, you come in here and dump on us about rape and sexual abuse, sky. I mean, you certainly have the right to do it but I’d ask yourself why you can’t just let people have fun with the subject here.
Oh bullshit. I only comment when you all men start going on about women being cray-cray and how much you all like having sex with bipolar and crazy women. Duh, like one does not need a broken partner for good sex.
Originally Posted By: Jazzooo
I’ve met a few women since my divorce from Glenda 10 years ago and because I know the statistics, I always assume that they have had some very bad personal experiences with molestation, with rape or sexual harassment. And that’s been the case for most of them. But some sexual relationships have been quite different from the others.
Women typically do not tell men about their rape/molestation experiences. Because they are ashamed, because they will be blamed, because it marks them as broken, because it is painful to relive the experience by re-telling, etc. They are most certainly not going to tell you.
I am totally in favor of people engaging in mutual, consensual, happy, healthy sexual conduct. And I am in favor of genuine love and intimacy.
But men crowingng about their sexual conquests or takign advantage of broken girls or turning what should be intimacy into porn fodder, that is what is creepy.
Registered: 05/18/02
Posts: 55391
Loc: San Miguel de Allende, Mexico ...
You don’t know me at all, sky. And you don’t read very carefully either. Of course my partners have opened up to me, because I am open myself. I really hate this narcissistic side of you. I’m not interested in sex without intimacy so it would never go that far unless we knew each other pretty well. And it never has.
You should be banned from conversations about sex here, in my opinion. No one is crowing. Everybody has the right to look back and evaluate which sexual experiences were the most exciting and adventurous, which were the most intimate and connected, and which were the least important without being judged by someone who drinks so much of her own bathwater.
I imagine if you were sitting in a room of female friends and one of them said “I’ve been going out with the most amazing lover lately!” You would not immediately postulate that her lover had been anally raped by a Catholic priest or something horrible like that. But if a man says it, that’s your cue to try to make them feel bad about themselves. You’re probably doing more turn back the hands of time and make it impossible for men and women to speak openly about sex than you realize.
Registered: 10/16/01
Posts: 10619
Loc: Litchfield, NH, USA
On the road for around three years in my mid to late twenties, I met SEVERAL wild attractive girls.
I am 100% confident that the vast majority did NOT fit into 'I was raped, molested, man-handled, or any other sad & disgusting issues such as those, as a child or young teen.
These young adults, that may have traveled in small groups or pairs were basically interested in one thing. Getting laid by someone in this incredible rock band. Period.
I was the one being targeted 95% of the time, NOT the inverse. I politely said NO on many, MANY occasions. But the FACT of the matter is, women can be , and often times are, just as sexually aggressive, or more, given the proper conditions and atmosphere; without having any horrifying skeletons haunting them from their past as children.
GEEZUS, Sky... Get some therapy. The entire female population of planet Earth was NOT sexually abused as children or young teens.
Furthermore, it is NOT your responsibility to bear the weight of these horrendous acts upon your shoulders that were perpetrated, and additionally be worn on your sleeve like some type of permanent badge of injustice for them.
Yes, WE ALL KNOW IT HAPPENED & STILL TAKES PLACE TODAY. But, throwing it into this type of conversation is ridiculous and basically just an act of unnecessary gynocentrism.
. . Falcon
_________________________ . . . but, what do I know?
Registered: 05/18/02
Posts: 55391
Loc: San Miguel de Allende, Mexico ...
It’s interesting, I’m kind of seeing this woman right now… We’re trying to figure it out… And she said “you’re so sexy when you play, I bet you’ve had women throwing themselves at you your entire life.“
I’ve honestly never thought about that, because I’ve been in committed relationships ever since I was 15 years old except for a few months in between. I don’t think I am physically attractive, certainly not compared to other people, but like many of us musicians, I do Project some kind of vulnerability that makes women like and trust me. I don’t think in terms of “conquests“ but I imagine if I had gone out on the road as a young guy my life would’ve been different.
But whatever, at 65 you start rethinking all of these gender roles, and what a relationship means. The concept of the future, let alone “Till death do us part“ means one thing to a 20 year old and something quite different to a 65 year old.
When I ponder the possibility of having a live-in partner again someday, I have to be honest with myself. What’s driving that urge? Part of it is intimacy. Part of it is convenience… Someone to pick your car up at the shop so you can go to a really important meeting. Some of it is wanting to feel needed, getting up in the middle of the night to take her temperature or rub her back or help her work out an issue with her mom or whatever. And some of it is not wanting to be alone if I fall and hit my head on the cabinet, lying on the floor until my housecleaner comes on Friday. It’s not about creating a family, and honestly I don’t think I will ever invest myself emotionally in anyone else’s family the way I did with Denise‘s family. We are still all close and there is still an undercurrent of sorrow and heartbreak in them because she and I are no longer together. That’s enough for me. I will be kind to my partners family and charming, but I don’t think I have it in me to fall in love with another extended family at this time in my life.
Men rape, kidnap, mutilate, murder, beat and drug women and you all call women cray-cray. Actually, men are cray-cray, way cray-cray, war-loving cray-cray, violence-loving cray-cray, sex-doll-using, prostitution-perpetuating cray-cray.
You all do not get how misogynistic it is to call damaged girls and women cray-cray. Women have to live, exist and work in this atmosphere of ubiquitous male violence, while men get to go about their days in blissful assumed safety. And because men do not read works by women or women's writings, most have no idea about what reality is to women. There are a few men who care enough, who see women as more than sources of sex and nurturing and domestic service, who get it, e.g., Robert Jensen, Jackson Katz.
You are not getting it. I am all in favor of genuine love and respect between the sexes. But you cannot have genuine love when one sex is considered inferior, unequal and is prey to violent males. Many women take up with men not because of genuine love, but because being connected to a male provides some measure of safety from other men. If a relationship is a bargain or tacit contract, it is not pure love.
Why do men and women even bother interacting and forming relationships? When young, people want sex. When middle-aged, they want partners in raising the young. When old, they need someone to help with the infirmities of age.
I do not understand the male mindset. We hear all the time that men want as many sexual partners as they can get, that men are averse to commitment and losing their freedom to spread their seed far and wide. So, then why are men always proposing marriage and trying to trap women into reproduction and domestic servitude? And what is with this double standard of sexuality that encourages men’s sexual expression while penalizing women for equivalent behavior -- a women whose sexual behavior compares to men's is called a slut or ho, while men are congratulated for scoring?
This whole society is sexually sick. We have sex education, but no love education. Maybe our society is too materialistic and money-oriented and selfish to embrace or create love. Why does America produce no Rumi, no Thich Nhat Hanh? Instead of a Rumi or Hafiz, instead of love and romance, we get 50 Cent: "Yeah Uh-huh So seductive I'll take you to the candy shop I'll let you lick the lollipop Go 'head girl don't you stop Keep going 'til you hit the spot, whoa."
Registered: 05/24/11
Posts: 12863
Loc: Kansas City
Originally Posted By: SkyWave
Why do men and women even bother interacting and forming relationships? When young, people want sex. When middle-aged, they want partners in raising the young. When old, they need someone to help with the infirmities of age.
How sad. Personally, I formed my relationship with my wife 30 years ago because I loved her more than life itself...
There are only dozens of generalizations, exaggerations and incorrect claims in Sky's posts in this thread. Hmm. That's surprising. And perhaps her Grammarly subscription ran out. ..a lot less impressive sounding words too.
Edited by motown59 (02/18/2107:51 PM)
_________________________
kel
"I love what you guys are trying to do up there" ...from an audience member at one of my gigs. Gear: Fender Medium pick
Registered: 10/16/01
Posts: 10619
Loc: Litchfield, NH, USA
Originally Posted By: motown59
There are only dozens of generalizations, exaggerations and incorrect claims in Sky's posts in this thread. Hmm. That's surprising. And perhaps her Grammarly subscription ran out. ..a lot less impressive sounding words too.
Hey Kel, can you imagine for a moment accidentally stumbling into a room-full of 'Sky-type' females at a convention somewhere at a hotel, whatever?
You'd be ripped into tiny shreds before you cold make it back out the door.
She reminds me of the Eveready Battery Bunny. That fuckin' thing just never gives up either. She's definitely in the perfect career for her...
Professional Bulldozer.
. . Falcon
_________________________ . . . but, what do I know?
Nobody did in the thread. Besides, I think most people realize when you say someone is "crazy", the colloquial interpretation is generally how everyone understands it. Who brought up Bipolar? Seems like someone else may have a ticket on the Bipolar Express..
_________________________
kel
"I love what you guys are trying to do up there" ...from an audience member at one of my gigs. Gear: Fender Medium pick
Registered: 05/18/02
Posts: 55391
Loc: San Miguel de Allende, Mexico ...
Everyone thinks the terms they use are “main stream,“ because they use them. Think back to when your sixty-year-old father tried to sound hip during the 70s by using the word “groovy“ and growing long sideburns.
There are only dozens of generalizations, exaggerations and incorrect claims in Sky's posts in this thread. Hmm. That's surprising. And perhaps her Grammarly subscription ran out. ..a lot less impressive sounding words too.
Beware the vicious vagina.
_________________________
Love everybody but never sell your sword
