#1863972 - 09/13/23 12:27 AM
a song of mine with a story
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motown59
Planeteer/Artist # 238
Planeteer
Registered: 03/01/04
Posts: 18253
Loc: California
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Somewhere around 1999 I drove to Nashville with a handful of songs(on cassettes!)and some appointments set up with a few publishers or song pluggers. On my third appointment the woman seemed intrigued by a couple songs, saying they might be good for two country artists, Bryan White and the Wilkersons, a family band with a current big hit.
But, I had run out of things to play except "one pretty good one" I was working on. An acoustic guitar was produced and I played this song live, nervously not looking at anyone, just trying to get through and not screw up. At the end I looked up and the plugger woman was crying, saying the song reminded her of her own family and dad. I thought I was in! Nothing happened with my visit but it was a cool experience.
When I finally demo'ed it, I played my Takamine and sang to myself playing brushes on a snare & kick. Played the bass and added my typical stack of harmonies. I cannot find the original session after my MacBook hard drive failed last November, so I loaded up the MP3 mix I had. I imagine that gets mangled by Soundcloud. whatever
So, it's a country pop story song, different than most of what I post here.
Box of Dreams
_________________________
kel
"I love what you guys are trying to do up there" ...from an audience member at one of my gigs.
Gear: Fender Medium pick
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#1863982 - 09/13/23 02:15 AM
Re: a song of mine with a story
[Re: motown59]
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Tao Jones
Planeteer
Registered: 06/13/00
Posts: 15399
Loc: CA
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Dude, you have a great sound.
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#1863991 - 09/13/23 03:21 AM
Re: a song of mine with a story
[Re: Tao Jones]
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Doofie
Doofie
Planeteer
Registered: 04/04/02
Posts: 14500
Loc: Hamilton, Ontario, Canada
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Yep, that's a grabber. Nicely done. I know that it takes a lot of work to get things where you want 'em, and to actually be able to perform them well. But you always make it sound and seem so easy. I guess that's what it means to be very good at what you do.
_________________________
"On religion, the common man finds it to be true,
the wise man finds it foolish,
and the wealthy man finds it useful."
-Seneca The Younger ~76AD
I'm David McMillan. My friends call me Chuck.
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#1864015 - 09/13/23 12:45 PM
Re: a song of mine with a story
[Re: Doofie]
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LarryG
Planeteer
Registered: 02/04/00
Posts: 3164
Loc: FL
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Liked it, K. Everything about it was well done... melody, harmonies, arrangement, lyrics, vocal / instrumental performances, and recording. Definitely has the makings for a solid country tune.
Possible enhancements: adding a little more color / interest to the intro — maybe slightly longer too; add a bit more subtle instrumentation at V2, CH2 — potential choices: slide, banjo, pedal steel, piano; add a little more complexity at the solo section; maybe a soft strings line during the more quiet verse; then kick things up a bit again after that... but subtlety with the harmonies, effects, instrumentation: then maybe do a fade out at the end.
OR you can keep it as is, and let the buyer conceive their own final production ideas depending on their targeted artist.
Good luck... think you may have something here.
Edited by LarryG (09/13/23 12:50 PM)
_________________________
/LarryG
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#1864016 - 09/13/23 01:04 PM
Re: a song of mine with a story
[Re: LarryG]
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Tao Jones
Planeteer
Registered: 06/13/00
Posts: 15399
Loc: CA
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The stripped down intro was my favorite
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#1864018 - 09/13/23 01:37 PM
Re: a song of mine with a story
[Re: Tao Jones]
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mrsinical
AudioWriter
Planeteer
Registered: 08/31/09
Posts: 1854
Loc: Riding Indiana Waves of Audio
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Bravo!
Song melody and vocal harmonies remnant of the Eagles 
What was your inspiration for the lyrics, if I may ask?
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#1864038 - 09/13/23 03:10 PM
Re: a song of mine with a story
[Re: mrsinical]
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Popmann
Loquacious Planeteer
Registered: 05/23/02
Posts: 33709
Loc: Twangville, TN
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Bryan White. Long time no hear that name. I had one of his records at some point.
Nice track.
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#1864040 - 09/13/23 03:30 PM
Re: a song of mine with a story
[Re: motown59]
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Vanillagrits
Planeteer
Registered: 11/09/04
Posts: 21715
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It's a shame someone hasn't picked this up.
Killer country tune.
_________________________
Love everybody but never sell your sword
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#1864042 - 09/13/23 03:49 PM
Re: a song of mine with a story
[Re: Vanillagrits]
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calypso
Planeteer
Registered: 07/22/05
Posts: 2551
Loc: mid-Missouri
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#1864044 - 09/13/23 03:59 PM
Re: a song of mine with a story
[Re: calypso]
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Andy McClelland
Planeteer
Registered: 05/24/14
Posts: 12824
Loc: Commanda, Ontario Canada
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Yeah. That's a fabulous song.
_________________________
Horn player tuning: Give me Bb. Never mind, Just give me a B and I'll flatten it myself. Andy on SoundCloud
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#1864046 - 09/13/23 04:13 PM
Re: a song of mine with a story
[Re: Andy McClelland]
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Webster
Planeteer
Registered: 02/15/07
Posts: 18069
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Top notch composition. Just outstanding. Love the performance(s) and the recording.
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#1864052 - 09/13/23 06:01 PM
Re: a song of mine with a story
[Re: Doofie]
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jimmyrock
Department Head of Redundancy Department Head
Planeteer
Registered: 12/18/05
Posts: 10424
Loc: America's File Cabinet
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Y But you always make it sound and seem so easy. I guess that's what it means to be very good at what you do.
100% agree...nice work on thsi for sure and a super cool story
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#1864054 - 09/13/23 06:10 PM
Re: a song of mine with a story
[Re: jimmyrock]
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Jazzooo
Loquacious Planeteer
Registered: 05/18/02
Posts: 55728
Loc: San Miguel de Allende, Mexico ...
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I’m looking forward to hearing this. What a beautiful story.
_________________________
Dougrobinson.com
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#1864099 - 09/14/23 02:19 AM
Re: a song of mine with a story
[Re: Jazzooo]
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avetter11
Planeteer
Registered: 10/13/04
Posts: 3419
Loc: Illinois
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Lovely, just lovely!
_________________________
Brian
Truth exists, only falsehood has to be invented.-Georges Braque
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#1864186 - 09/15/23 01:02 AM
Re: a song of mine with a story
[Re: avetter11]
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motown59
Planeteer/Artist # 238
Planeteer
Registered: 03/01/04
Posts: 18253
Loc: California
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Thanks for the spins and kind words!
_________________________
kel
"I love what you guys are trying to do up there" ...from an audience member at one of my gigs.
Gear: Fender Medium pick
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#1864187 - 09/15/23 01:05 AM
Re: a song of mine with a story
[Re: motown59]
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Wish
🌴 VSP Moderator 🌵
Planeteer
Registered: 09/09/00
Posts: 12080
Loc: Phoenix, AZ
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Yeah….very nice song. Very well done all around.
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#1864201 - 09/15/23 07:35 AM
Re: a song of mine with a story
[Re: avetter11]
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Jazzooo
Loquacious Planeteer
Registered: 05/18/02
Posts: 55728
Loc: San Miguel de Allende, Mexico ...
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I really like that, Kelly. And you’re such an intuitive harmonizer, it all just works. Two thumbs up amigo.
_________________________
Dougrobinson.com
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#1864203 - 09/15/23 11:35 AM
Re: a song of mine with a story
[Re: Jazzooo]
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moontan
Loquacious Planeteer
Registered: 04/16/99
Posts: 32341
Loc: Sol III
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excellent! 
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#1864210 - 09/15/23 12:03 PM
Re: a song of mine with a story
[Re: moontan]
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pbrowne
Planeteer
Registered: 06/11/99
Posts: 6488
Loc: Loveland,CO,USA
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very nice tune - love the harmonies.
_________________________
Send two dozen roses to Room 424 and put "Emily, I love you" on the back of the bill. Groucho Marx
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#1864222 - 09/15/23 01:32 PM
Re: a song of mine with a story
[Re: pbrowne]
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Jazzooo
Loquacious Planeteer
Registered: 05/18/02
Posts: 55728
Loc: San Miguel de Allende, Mexico ...
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I did just wake up and thought to myself that the dad was kind of a jerk. I mean, that money would have come in handy earlier in life too.
_________________________
Dougrobinson.com
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#1864242 - 09/15/23 04:25 PM
Re: a song of mine with a story
[Re: Jazzooo]
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Marty Gilman
Official Planet Sax Monster - Planeteer/Artist # 117
Loquacious Planeteer
Registered: 04/05/00
Posts: 26824
Loc: Palm Beach, Florida- U S A
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So well done. The harmonies make it for me.
i'd like to hear this with a full band too.
-m
_________________________
Can you play that an octave louder?
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consistently... 
