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#1863972 - 09/13/23 12:27 AM a song of mine with a story
motown59 Offline
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Loc: California
Somewhere around 1999 I drove to Nashville with a handful of songs(on cassettes!)and some appointments set up with a few publishers or song pluggers. On my third appointment the woman seemed intrigued by a couple songs, saying they might be good for two country artists, Bryan White and the Wilkersons, a family band with a current big hit.

But, I had run out of things to play except "one pretty good one" I was working on. An acoustic guitar was produced and I played this song live, nervously not looking at anyone, just trying to get through and not screw up. At the end I looked up and the plugger woman was crying, saying the song reminded her of her own family and dad. I thought I was in! Nothing happened with my visit but it was a cool experience.

When I finally demo'ed it, I played my Takamine and sang to myself playing brushes on a snare & kick. Played the bass and added my typical stack of harmonies. I cannot find the original session after my MacBook hard drive failed last November, so I loaded up the MP3 mix I had. I imagine that gets mangled by Soundcloud. whatever

So, it's a country pop story song, different than most of what I post here.

Box of Dreams

_________________________
kel

"I love what you guys are trying to do up there" ...from an audience member at one of my gigs.
Gear: Fender Medium pick

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#1863982 - 09/13/23 02:15 AM Re: a song of mine with a story [Re: motown59]
Tao Jones Offline
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Registered: 06/13/00
Posts: 15743
Loc: CA
Dude, you have a great sound.
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#1863991 - 09/13/23 03:21 AM Re: a song of mine with a story [Re: Tao Jones]
Doofie Offline
Doofie
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Registered: 04/04/02
Posts: 14759
Loc: Hamilton, Ontario, Canada
Yep, that's a grabber. Nicely done. I know that it takes a lot of work to get things where you want 'em, and to actually be able to perform them well. But you always make it sound and seem so easy. I guess that's what it means to be very good at what you do.
_________________________
"On religion, the common man finds it to be true,
the wise man finds it foolish,
and the wealthy man finds it useful."
-Seneca The Younger ~76AD

I'm David McMillan. My friends call me Chuck.

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#1864015 - 09/13/23 12:45 PM Re: a song of mine with a story [Re: Doofie]
LarryG Offline
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Registered: 02/04/00
Posts: 3204
Loc: FL
Liked it, K. Everything about it was well done... melody, harmonies, arrangement, lyrics, vocal / instrumental performances, and recording. Definitely has the makings for a solid country tune.

Possible enhancements: adding a little more color / interest to the intro — maybe slightly longer too; add a bit more subtle instrumentation at V2, CH2 — potential choices: slide, banjo, pedal steel, piano; add a little more complexity at the solo section; maybe a soft strings line during the more quiet verse; then kick things up a bit again after that... but subtlety with the harmonies, effects, instrumentation: then maybe do a fade out at the end.

OR you can keep it as is, and let the buyer conceive their own final production ideas depending on their targeted artist.

Good luck... think you may have something here.


Edited by LarryG (09/13/23 12:50 PM)
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#1864016 - 09/13/23 01:04 PM Re: a song of mine with a story [Re: LarryG]
Tao Jones Offline
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Registered: 06/13/00
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The stripped down intro was my favorite
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#1864018 - 09/13/23 01:37 PM Re: a song of mine with a story [Re: Tao Jones]
mrsinical Offline
AudioWriter
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Registered: 08/31/09
Posts: 1865
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Bravo!
Song melody and vocal harmonies remnant of the Eagles

What was your inspiration for the lyrics, if I may ask?

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#1864038 - 09/13/23 03:10 PM Re: a song of mine with a story [Re: mrsinical]
Popmann Offline
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Registered: 05/23/02
Posts: 34241
Loc: Twangville, TN
Bryan White. Long time no hear that name. I had one of his records at some point.

Nice track.

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#1864039 - 09/13/23 03:22 PM Re: a song of mine with a story [Re: Popmann]
motown59 Offline
Planeteer/Artist # 238
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Registered: 03/01/04
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Bryan White , what an incredible singer he was, some great songs then he sort of lost it. Wishing On Someone Else’s Star was a song I’d sing to warm up with, or Ambrosia You’re the only woman. If I could hit those, maybe I’d move onto Sara’s Smile

I can still hear on this demo me reading my lyrics instead of knowing them.
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kel

"I love what you guys are trying to do up there" ...from an audience member at one of my gigs.
Gear: Fender Medium pick

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#1864040 - 09/13/23 03:30 PM Re: a song of mine with a story [Re: motown59]
Vanillagrits Offline
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Registered: 11/09/04
Posts: 21882
It's a shame someone hasn't picked this up.
Killer country tune.
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#1864042 - 09/13/23 03:49 PM Re: a song of mine with a story [Re: Vanillagrits]
calypso Offline
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Registered: 07/22/05
Posts: 2711
Loc: mid-Missouri
It is an excellent song!
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#1864044 - 09/13/23 03:59 PM Re: a song of mine with a story [Re: calypso]
Andy McClelland Offline
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Registered: 05/24/14
Posts: 13381
Loc: Commanda, Ontario Canada
Yeah. That's a fabulous song.
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#1864046 - 09/13/23 04:13 PM Re: a song of mine with a story [Re: Andy McClelland]
Webster Offline
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Registered: 02/15/07
Posts: 19043
Top notch composition. Just outstanding. Love the performance(s) and the recording.
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#1864052 - 09/13/23 06:01 PM Re: a song of mine with a story [Re: Doofie]
jimmyrock Offline
Department Head of Redundancy Department Head
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Registered: 12/18/05
Posts: 11026
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 Originally Posted By: Doofie
Y But you always make it sound and seem so easy. I guess that's what it means to be very good at what you do.


100% agree...nice work on thsi for sure and a super cool story

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#1864054 - 09/13/23 06:10 PM Re: a song of mine with a story [Re: jimmyrock]
Jazzooo Offline
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Registered: 05/18/02
Posts: 56058
Loc: San Miguel de Allende, Mexico ...
I’m looking forward to hearing this. What a beautiful story.
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#1864099 - 09/14/23 02:19 AM Re: a song of mine with a story [Re: Jazzooo]
avetter11 Offline
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Registered: 10/13/04
Posts: 3427
Loc: Illinois
Lovely, just lovely!
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Truth exists, only falsehood has to be invented.-Georges Braque









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#1864186 - 09/15/23 01:02 AM Re: a song of mine with a story [Re: avetter11]
motown59 Offline
Planeteer/Artist # 238
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Registered: 03/01/04
Posts: 18565
Loc: California
Thanks for the spins and kind words!
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kel

"I love what you guys are trying to do up there" ...from an audience member at one of my gigs.
Gear: Fender Medium pick

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#1864187 - 09/15/23 01:05 AM Re: a song of mine with a story [Re: motown59]
Wish Administrator Offline
🌴 VSP Moderator 🌵
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Registered: 09/09/00
Posts: 13000
Loc: Phoenix, AZ
Yeah….very nice song. Very well done all around.


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#1864201 - 09/15/23 07:35 AM Re: a song of mine with a story [Re: avetter11]
Jazzooo Offline
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Registered: 05/18/02
Posts: 56058
Loc: San Miguel de Allende, Mexico ...
I really like that, Kelly. And you’re such an intuitive harmonizer, it all just works. Two thumbs up amigo.
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#1864203 - 09/15/23 11:35 AM Re: a song of mine with a story [Re: Jazzooo]
moontan Offline
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Registered: 04/16/99
Posts: 33099
Loc: Sol III
excellent!
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#1864210 - 09/15/23 12:03 PM Re: a song of mine with a story [Re: moontan]
pbrowne Offline
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Registered: 06/11/99
Posts: 6591
Loc: Loveland,CO,USA
very nice tune - love the harmonies.
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#1864222 - 09/15/23 01:32 PM Re: a song of mine with a story [Re: pbrowne]
Jazzooo Offline
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Registered: 05/18/02
Posts: 56058
Loc: San Miguel de Allende, Mexico ...
I did just wake up and thought to myself that the dad was kind of a jerk. I mean, that money would have come in handy earlier in life too.
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Dougrobinson.com

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#1864242 - 09/15/23 04:25 PM Re: a song of mine with a story [Re: Jazzooo]
Marty Gilman Offline
Official Planet Sax Monster - Planeteer/Artist # 117
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Registered: 04/05/00
Posts: 27275
Loc: Palm Beach, Florida- U S A
So well done. The harmonies make it for me.

i'd like to hear this with a full band too.

-m
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Can you play that an octave louder?


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#1864495 - 09/17/23 11:07 PM Re: a song of mine with a story [Re: Marty Gilman]
C Jo Go Offline
EMERITUS ~ VS Roland
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Registered: 11/05/01
Posts: 39469
Loc: carmel valley,ca
Nothin' wrong with this one KEL ~!! You got what it takes ... consistently...

Edited by C Jo Go (09/17/23 11:14 PM)
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