Registered: 05/24/11
Posts: 12704
Loc: Kansas City
Any theories????? My theory as of right now is.......the plane was abducted by a UAP
Originally Posted By: From the article
One of the U.S. Marine Corps’ advanced F-35B Lightning stealth jump jets has gone missing after its pilot locked it onto autopilot mode and made an emergency ejection while flying over South Carolina on the afternoon of Sunday, September 17. Fortunately, the pilot survived and has been hospitalized in stable condition.
But the status and location of his F-35 remains a mystery—such a mystery that the Pentagon is soliciting tips from civilians to locate it!
Registered: 07/11/01
Posts: 29060
Loc: Westborough, MA, USA
That is one stealthy jet alright.
_________________________ The internet, and the whole technology sector on which it floats, feels like a giant organ for bullshittery—for upscaling human access to speech and for amplifying lies. - Ian Bogost
Professor Truth T. Sweetness says,"Mind your manners!"
Registered: 05/18/02
Posts: 54688
Loc: San Miguel de Allende, Mexico ...
Yes, what part of stealth don’t you understand? ;-)
I’m no expert, but it seems to me that setting a plan on auto pilot when you are jacked, unless you’re heading way out into the ocean, is asking for trouble. Maybe that’s what he’s done, I did not read the article yet.
Registered: 07/11/01
Posts: 29060
Loc: Westborough, MA, USA
Alexandra Petri makes me laugh, she is so funny.
FOUND: Fighter Jet
By Alexandra Petri Columnist
Updated September 18, 2023 at 8:08 p.m. EDT|Published September 18, 2023 at 4:04 p.m. EDT
Hypothetically, if a plane followed me home, looking lost and confused, would I need to contact the U.S. military immediately?
I know that an F-35 fighter jet was missing on Monday (the pilot ejected and is in stable condition) and the military had asked for help finding it, saying the stealth fighter might still be roving the sky on autopilot somewhere in the environs of South Carolina. But, hypothetically, how long could someone wait before reporting it if she, say, had been followed home by a very friendly, slightly disheveled plane?
Let me tell you what happened.
At first, I thought the plane was nothing because it was so stealthy. I was on my bicycle, going home, when I heard a sort of stealthy hum overhead, what I would describe as “a jet trying to sneak home after curfew.” The mysterious hum followed me for several blocks. Finally, I said, aloud, “I was just going home to re-watch ‘Top Gun’ for a fifth time. Just the plane parts. I will fast-forward through the volleyball parts, and I could sure use some company.” And then when I looked up, I could see the plane. It looked lost and hungry. Its ailerons were drooping.
“My house isn’t far,” I said. “It’s okay, little buddy!” I wanted to keep it calm, so I muttered reassuring things (“I couldn’t detect you at all before! You’re such a stealthy fellow!”) as I pedaled home, periodically looking up to see whether it was still following me. Its tail was already up in an encouraging way.
It landed gently on top of my house. I projected “Top Gun” onto my garage, and the plane emitted contented little huffs of exhaust whenever Tom Cruise showed up on-screen, while I looked around to see what would make a good snack for a jet in its condition. I quickly Googled “what do planes eat,” but the answers varied widely from plane to plane, and I was not sure exactly what breed of plane I was working with and did not want to make it sick by mistake.
Finally, I decided money was a good start. I know that F-35s like to ravenously consume huge amounts of money, so after a little deliberation, I found the birthday card I had received from the aunt and uncle who still insist on sending a dollar for each year and offered the jet a couple of bills, lighting each on fire. It gobbled them right up and seemed to feel a little better.
I know that planes of this nature need a lot of runway (although they are capable of vertical takeoff, it isn’t as comfortable for them and can be very tiring), so I thought I should take it someplace where it could taxi around to its heart’s content and maybe get a little bit of exercise in while I figured out what to do. I took it to a large enclosure not too far away, where it could roam freely, roll over and fetch tennis balls without the risk of getting into any dogfights. I was glad I did. It was a very friendly plane and immediately began nesting, building itself a military-industrial complex and picking up shiny bits of metal and storing them in its bomb bays. It kept bringing me selected targets (a squirrel, a mail truck, a Target), but I said, “Bad jet! No!” and it settled down. It’s clearly a well-trained jet that deserves a good home. Its fuselage looks glossy and well-maintained.
I know this might be the jet the U.S. military is looking for, but I have a lot of questions I want answered before releasing it to its prior owner. I think a jet’s owners need to be responsible, even if it is a purebred jet that can cost in some cases over $100 million. I understand that you don’t have to keep your jet on a leash everywhere it goes, but then the least you can do is install an absolutely reliable tracker. A jet its size, with its needs, should not be wandering around on its own. It might get into a bad situation with a smaller, more aggressive plane, or a bigger plane that was on-leash.
Also, I hate to say this, but I was Googling the U.S. military and its record of caring for its F-35s, and I was not at all satisfied with what I saw! This is not the first one to suffer an unexpected mishap, nor the only one in South Carolina. Nor is it even the most expensive. I know that some breeds have issues; I used to have a bulldog! But if you bring a breed with these needs home, one that has a single engine and is vulnerable to fire and something called “wing drop,” you have to be ready to step up to the task! That’s all.
Hang on, the plane just loaded something into its payload area, and I’m not sure what it was; I might need to get it out.
If it isn’t the missing F-35, I would sure like to keep it! I know that rescue jets are much more ethical to own than the ones that come from jet mills and breeders, and I think if I add a significant amount of runway to my home, I could make it happy, as long as I could accustom it to eating more humble feed than it is used to. I have already named it Stealthy.
Update: So, they have located what they need of the plane, they say? And that was all they were missing, they say? Just the one? Good, then. Never mind my hypothetical!
_________________________ The internet, and the whole technology sector on which it floats, feels like a giant organ for bullshittery—for upscaling human access to speech and for amplifying lies. - Ian Bogost
Professor Truth T. Sweetness says,"Mind your manners!"
